On this day

Some of you may know that when I was much younger (like ten years ago), I used to participate in Toast-master competitions. One of the components entail the speaker weaving a whole story or some entertaining speech based on a word or sentence provided by the organizers.

Some samples of the questions I got before are:

a. What do you on a bad date?

I kid you not. This was actually during my law school days. I was first-runner up. The judge of the competition, some prominent partner of a prominent firm, actually leaned over to whisper in my ear whilst handing over the trophy - "we are giving this to you because we thought you made good of a difficult topic".

I can't remember very much of what I said except that alot of people were laughing, then again, when do people not laugh at what I say (hurhur). Something about remembering why you went on the date in the first place and taking off clothes. Hahaa.


b. "Naked" and "Island"

I kid you not again. This was the topic that I got in Secondary Four. I think I was second runner-up in the Nationals. I cant remember exactly the topic already, apart from the words above. But I do remember thinking I was the only one trying to crack a joke out of what I got. The others were all too serious, but the judges seemed to like that.

Funny what we remember when we intentionally call things to mind.

Anyhows, why am I talking about this?

I have been thinking, thinking, thinking.

And I guess I remember these competitions of old because:

i. in those days, i had to weave random ideas into a story from a word or theme that was given to me. A story that the audience would like. It made me happy that people found my throwing of ideas together entertaining. Being random helped.

ii. these days, i have to weave values and truths and reconcile them into a belief system. I guess we really live (as opposed to waking up and just living today because you didnt die in your sleep and you are just carrying on where you left off when you fell asleep yesterday) when we are forced to articulate and make coherent what makes your belief system - your own. And it is not easy.

But. Real growth comes when we have to grapple with new truths and ideas and face the possibility of changes to our belief system. Or development. Or depth to it, whatever you may want to call non-status quo. That, is not easy. Hahaa. Which is why some people grow and some people dont.

Being a source of entertainment doesnt feature so much now, though I do think I can still amuse.

So what would one say of the word, "Dreams"?

Who's your Daddy??

I remember when we were back in uni people used to greet each other by saying, "who's your daddy?" or "WAAAASSSSSUUUPPPPPP!!!!!!!!! (followed by a exaggerated sticking out of the tongue)"..

Heh.

Well, I recently came out of an episode i can only describe as long drawn and excruciatingly crushing. But the good thing that came out of it was the revelation of a deep conviction i cling on to in my heart of hearts.

I know who to trust to take me out of a really sticky situation.

And i know Who it was that TOOK me out, Who RESCUED me, Who reached down and PLUCKED me out of that long drawn and excruciatingly crushing episode.

And it isn't me.

It's Someone stronger, bigger, better and wiser than me. Someone who has my best interest at heart and loves me dangerously. Someone who places His protective boundaries around me so that nothing can harm me. So I know I can rest. Not to be complacent, but to do my best and surrender the rest. Someone is watching my front and my back.

I know "Who's my Daddy".

O dear dear friends, hear me! This is nothing to do with being weak. We all put our trust in something. It may be in our own strength, the tenacity of a dear one's love for us, the favour of a big boss, the power of money and status...

We all trust something. I guess the question is, do we have the confidence that the object of our trust would never fail us or come through for us or give us the hope to look forward to tomorrow? Do we have the confidence that the object of our trust is good and IS powerful enough to do just about ANYTHING in our best interest?

I do. Oh i do, i do, i do!

I have the confidence that my Father in heaven..

would never fail me
would never fail to come through for me
would never fail to give me the hope to look forward to tomorrow
Is good
Is powerful to do just about ANYTHING in my best interest..
and not just that, i know He WILL do just about everything for me because He loves me.

1 Corinthians 13: 7 - 8
"It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

O dear dear friends, hear me! Having come out of that long drawn and excruciatingly crushing experience, I can only say that in my heart of heart, i know Who it was that was protecting me ALL this time. There is no other explanation for the outcome.

And He did it simply because He loves me.

And I bless everyone to experience this love that I know.

I thought this song, both the music and the lyrics personifies this Someone so well. Close your eyes. Trust it would bless you as it blessed me.

Inspired by TV

So it was one of those rare days where I found myself home before 10 p.m. And not unpredictably, I also found myself infront of the TV.

But yesterday, it became an unexpectedly beautiful time.

So I was channel-hopping and came across this documentary that Channel U was running on locating Singaporeans in obscure place around the world.




This repeat episode happened to be about a Singaporean, Ms. Yeen-Lan Lam and her work in a Rafiki Village in Kenya. The Rafiki Foundation, as I understand it, is an organization that provides health and educational aid to the needy in Africa. Specifically, Rafiki is a Christian mission organization that seeks to show God's love in a practical and tangible way - through His people and their works in His name.

Whilst what drew me to the programme at first was the chioh host, as well as the fact that it WAS about Africa (which I always have had a heart for), I was practically glued to the screen after the first three minutes.



This particular episode was about the Rafiki Village in Kenya which Ms. Lam runs.

So Rafiki provides medical care to the sick in the surrounding area for free. According to Ms. Lam, the clinic opens at like 7 am but they have hordes of people queueing outside the clinics from 3 am - hundreds of queue tickets are given out in the morning (could be thousands, I didnt catch the stats, but it is alot of sick people).

The clinic stops giving out tickets after a certain count because it is literally not safe for people to travel after dark. I was struck by the fact that the sick people look forward to the first thing that the medical personnel does when the clinic opens - no, it's not the free medicine or consultations. The medical personnel breaks into praise (of God) and prayer for the people (like a mini service) before commencing the day's work of caring for the sick.

To quote Ms. Lam, the staff want to not just care for the physical needs but to minister hope and love into the lives of the Africans.

Here, I saw how people, professionals who left their home countries to give of their lives to complete strangers, regardless of race and religion.

In the documentary, we had this Angmorh doctor speaking and smiling to an African man (who was like 94!) - speaking and smiling through the African's grand-daughter - and the doctor was just commenting on how happy, hearty and hale the man was.

I dont know if i should say, despite his circumstances [his circumstances being his being very old, and poor and not having a career and having to trouble a long long long long way to see a doctor], but "despite his circumstances", not having his spirit snuffed out. To quote the doctor, "this young man (and I believe he is at heart!) is such a joy to me whenever i see him!".

The other thing that brought tears to my eyes was the work done by Rafiki for the orphans in Kenya.

These children are legally adopted by the Foundation and organized into family units, under the care of an African lady who would be their Mama. Siblings are kept together, and each cottage lives together as a family – eating, going to church, playing, and working together. The children and the mothers bond as family.


There was this scene really pierced me to the quick.

So Ms Lam and the host was going around after meal time to visit one Mama (Mama Faith, to quote the kids) putting her kids to bed. This little African girl was saying the bedtime prayer for all, I suppose they take turns. But my heart surged to hear her simple child-like prayer,

"Thank You God for uncles. For aunties. For mamas. In Jesus' Name we pray, Amen."

These kids have no parents.

The first person they thank God for are uncles and aunties. Men and women, unrelated to them, but who have chosen to give their lives to these young people. And the child was not ungrateful. She was not lamenting her destitute and unfortunate state.

She was grateful. She was genuinely giving thanks.

Actually.

The documentary hit me alot harder than I thought it would.

I remember this scene where Ms. Lam was standing outside the school and there were these kids But looking at the children running around - all of them so young, some barely knee high! All of them so eager to be in school and having a meal, my eyes were wet (to which I am grateful that my heart is not so cold). I guess part of it was because I saw another Singaporean choosing to give up her life with her family to be in Africa. And I saw joy and contentment in her speech and life. I saw how isolated that place was - you know, ulu and all. You dont get no pradas and LVs and spas and beach side resorts there. And yet I saw the children just surrounding Ms. Lam.

I found myself asking whether I would ever be happy doing something like that. And to my grateful (and relieved) surprise, I found myself recognizing, yes.

Not a YES! But a "Yes". Resolute, firm, daunted, and especially, vulnerable. But nevertheless a Yes.

You see, I recall a conversation I had with Daniel Kalai and his wife over dinner just a few weeks back. We were talking about some general stuff and my career and life and I remember making a statement, "I want to have an illustrious career larh". And I think at the point of making that statement, I suppose I meant it.

And I am very sure it was because at that point in time, whilst stuffing pepper crab into my mouth, I forgot that there are other things in life that are very important to me too.

You know, it scares me how easy, how so very easy, it is for people to forget the stuff that life is made of.

I hope and pray, by God's grace, I wont be the sort that would run out and build my own kingdom - but the fact of the matter is where we finally end up is happening right now. We wont wake up one day and find ourselves a different person - we become that person. It's a process. Through the decisions we make each day. The people we choose to spend time with. The things we choose to do. Or do without.

I talk alot about choice. But it's true. In criminal law we have actus reus (which is the act itself) and mens rea (which is the mental element to commit the crime) - most crimes need both elements to be a CRIME in the strict sense of the word.

It's the same with life. We choose to lead the life we wanna lead.

The mission of Rafiki resonates with me, "Since our goal is to develop these children to be godly contributors to their countries in Africa, we do notfacilitate the adoption of these children out of their countries, nor do we plan on educating them in the UnitedStates. Instead, we will raise and educate them in their home countries so that they will remain and provide themuch needed leadership and help in their own culture".

I cant bring no accolades into the grave with me. Heck, I dont want to. I pray so hard that God would help me to remember that life is not just about me and what I want - but there are alot of people out there who need heroes, and more importantly, a Saviour.

I am really thinking about just how I can live a life that reflects the really important things in life. You know, the balance between your God-given dreams and passions, as well as the world out there needs love and hope.

When I was in JC, my best friend (not the chioh bu, the other one, heh) got me reading the Little Prince.

Which has been like translated into ten million languages (okay not ten million but alot alot) because it's so beautiful - a children's story written for adults (like the Chronicles of Narnia). Anyhows, there are lotsa quotes from that book, and one of it is that spoken of by the Fox (whose philosophy the little prince learnt alot from):

The Fox: It's only with the heart that one can see clearly. What's essential, is invisible to the eye.

True ain't it?

May we always remember to see from the eyes of our heart.

Perfect English (1)

To all who do not already know (hur hur) my love language is words (yuarh, i know!! so low maintenance!). I will talk about love langauges another time folks, thats not the point here.

What this means to say is that I express, and receive, affection, chiefly through words.

This observation has set me thinking alot and often, about the importance of speech in our daily lives.

Have you been given the excuse, or have you made the excuse that " You / I dont mean it! I just said it only in a fit of [anger / happiness / because I was high / insert emotion as appropriate / weakness ]"

Let me give you an illustration of the importance in our choice of words.

Part of lawyering includes the ability to articulate what's on your mind directly, with minimal fuss, unless of course you intend to not say it clearly.

You can say that is the art of good (simple) english. But you should really see the amount of flak [not flag, thanks corrine, see my english is not perfect!] we get, I get because of how I should say what I mean to say.

You see - much as I agree that a lot of times, especially in the beginning - after correction and amendments suddenly my draft reads so much clearer. In fact, often times, especially when I read the emails of other lawyers (especially the angmohs) it's amazing - it's like somebody cut open their minds and you can SEE EXACTLY what is the point they are putting across with extreme clarity. It's almost like a dissection of their minds? Like this picture...





My mental picture when I find somebody highly articulate on paper is always of a brain being cut open and like a projector just beaming out whatever is in that person's mind.

But you my intelligent readers you get what I mean. *flashes classic grin*


Okay, as usual I digress, I was saying that much as I agree that often times drafts can read better after amendments, sometimes, it is not a matter of being clearer in what you are saying, but a matter of style..

You see, we often thank people at the end of a correspondence for whatever we have requested that they do in the letter. Some people say, "it would be appreciated". Lawyers often say, "grateful".

So I have a habit of saying, " [make request]. I would be grateful if you would [do as we requested]".

Simple?

But I get so much flak for not saying, "I will be grateful".

And I would get scolded like nobody business like I made some cardinal error - the point is I am not wrong! (For those who havent spotted what I am talking about, it's in the tense of the words larh). So one day, when I really couldnt take it any more, I went to do a search to PROVE that I was correct.

And I am!!!



You see from above that it is grammatically correct to use "would" when we are talking about a probable event that may happen in the future.

Catchword: MAY

Which means to say, I am not wrong, *cough cough excuse me* i am CORRECT when I say I "would be grateful if (the person would do as we requested) because at the point I make the request, there is no guarantee that the person will actually go and do as I requested - whether they will do it or not is still PROBABLE.

Hence, I am correct, to say "would be grateful", instead of "will be grateful".

TNEH TNEH NEEEE BOO BOOO!!

But no, I am not going to run out and plaster this finding on all doors.

This pendantic exercise apart, lawyering illustrates to me the importance, of choosing our words carefully.

The Bible talks about how we should let our yes be a yes, and our no be a no.

I've seen how cases fall apart because solicitors were less than cautious in saying exactly what they mean to say. A quick perusal of the case law in any jurisdiction would show how people try to pull fast ones over the other by their words, either

i. carelessly phrased; and / or
ii. intentionally ommitted; and / or
iii. intentionally vague.

*rolls eyes*

And people DO know the importance of careful drafting, that's why they employ lawyers to say what they want for them marh.. that's why solicitors are gainfully employed so long people have something to say!

That's for legal obligations. There are some things that are worth more.

I think that human hearts are alot more fragile and valuable than legal obligations. In that same vein, shouldnt we exercise more care and caution in our daily speech than when solicitors are drafting? (yuarh this is an exaggeration but you get my drift).

Come on! This world has enough as it is, if only people would mean what they say, and say what they mean! By that I mean people should also act like what they say - you know, conduct consistent with words?

Also, if people would choose their words and actions more carefully (yes, I have talked about this elsewhere), I think there would be less pain in this world - is a matter of being considerate and honest, you know?

Mind you, I am not talkin about running out there and wearing all of your heart on your sleeves, shirt and pants and etc.. I do believe in tact and grace you know..

But think about it:

(a) When was the last time someone hurt you because they were callous in their speech?
(b) When was the last time you thought you could have saved another person some heartache if you had choosen to put things across another way? (i.e. more heart and tact and grace and truth in the content)

It's not easy, granted. But this world would be a happier place if everyone tried, yes?


ps: this is totally out of point, but does anyone know how to write and post with different colours than that provided in the template? heh.. I am gettin sick of patches and patches of green *grin*

Humble Pie

Have you ever made a mistake so bad you cant believe YOU made it?

Like it's SO out of character. YOUR character.

Well recently, that happened to me.

You see, I have always taken pride in the fact that I am a person with alot of common sense.

Don't laugh.

But to be honest, growing up, I realized that common sense isnt really that common - because what comes to you naturally, actually depends on what you have been exposed to.

I remember a conversation i had with my colleague before (fellow junior) and we were laughing at the expectations of some seniors - like how they would examine another person's work and look very irritable when the person doesnt get it.

Irritated senior, "It's common sense isnt it?"
Colleague / me / any other junior person: Blank look.

It's common sense to YOU cuz u've done it before, but not to us! we havent seen something like that!


So our conclusion - actually common sense isnt really that common.. haha.


Actually you can fit the above in any context la, medicine, law, accountancy, event management, etc.

I am suddenly reminded of the army lingo, "BLUR RECRUIT" -



Yuarh.

HE IS RECRUIT THATS WHY HE IS BLUR MAH, if he is not blur he would be your sergeant or OFFICER ALREADY!! that's why we have blur RECRUIT!

USE UR BLANE USE UR BLANE USE UR BLANE!

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Okay.

I am digressing, as usual. And, my closet arh-lianess is manifesting. But you get my drift.

SO.

We were talkin about me taking pride that i have common sense - by that i mean the knowing-how-to-take-care-when-it-comes-to-important-things-that-you-have-to-do. So maybe organized / prudent / responsible would be the right word.

ANYHOWz.

Recently I made a mistake. I mistake that was so dumb. So careless and so RIDICULOUS i was momentarily stunned. Then i spent a whole night trying to rectify the problem and worrying about how i would cook in the frying pan the next day.

But I decided that I would be brave and "TAKE IT LIKE A MAN". It's really my fault anyway.

So the next day, I marched up to my boss and told him about it. And what I did to rectify the problem. And waited with bated breath.

A picture speaks a thousand words.. So this was really how i was feeling, what i was really expecting to get (and i fully deserved it i think).



To my VERY GREAT surprise, he didnt say a thing.

Or it would be more accurate to say, he said, "it's okay. people make mistakes".

Then he went on with the work.

I was stunned.

Let me explain. Yes, the mistake was one that was rectifiable, i.e. it's not the end of the world. But i was HORRIFIED because I MADE IT, and such a stupid one that could have been TOTALLY AVOIDED.

STUPID MISTAKE = Stupid / careless / inefficient / unorganized / [fill in the blank urself] person

If i were my boss, I would've skinned me alive.

But he didnt leh. He showed grace, which is basically - (unmerited) favour.

WAH.


So what did i take away from this incident?

One. To show grace.

Two. To not judge a person quickly. (even if we are talking about work, and what is "common sense") So much for sizing up people - interviews are farces - they should be called oral exams. Ha ha ha..

Three. Give people time to develop. What is common sense to me is because I had the chance to see it before, in some way or other - others may not have. Give them time to see it.

Boohooo. i want to be a good boss too!

how I LIKE lawyer jokes

I usually like lawyer jokes. alot.



I like them because they make light of what happens on a daily basis.






It's like how you find out, whilst you are in the middle of a flight, that what you are wearing may be a fashion disaster at the airport where you would be landing, shortly. And what you are wearing cost you.

Then you step out of the plane, and quick gasps of relief wing you when you see another person, in similar garb at the airport. That other person looks at what you are wearing. Approving.

Yay. Somebody else recognizes this darn thing on me probably can feed a whole lecture theatre of students for a month.

You get my drift? But it's okay if you dont. hahaa..














Once, I had an application where we managed to enter judgment against the opponents (That's a good thing, btw). The only issue before the Court was that of costs and disbursements - and my learned friend (that's how we address our opponents in Court) and I slugged at each other. We got pretty upset with one another there and then in chambers - over 300 dollars. At some point in time whilst we were sparring, it crosses my mind whether he is putting up a fight simply because he is spoiling for one, or, if it is a question of principle and not the quantum of whatever we are squabbling about.

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On rare occasions, I actually stop and wonder why solicitors fight.

Perhaps because on the one hand - they are paid to further their clients interests, in accordance to, justice. So, the lawyer does what he is paid to do. But others of times, maybe the lawyer fights because he wants to win, real bad - and it doesnt matter who is on the other side, or who is paying his bill. Maybe, sometimes, the lawyer fights because the opponent solicitors remind her of an ex-boyfriend. Or she just wants to make her mother happy.

In all of the above, if they all win, which lawyer is the greatest?

And does it matter why they do it, so long they win? Should it matter? Then again, what is really the big deal if the judge rules either way?


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Then I think about myself, why I am fighting tooth and nail this time, to get what I think my clients deserve. Even if it is just 300 dollars. Because it is my job. Because it is a matter of principle. Because some people need to be put into the right place

And sometimes I think, I dont know.

After the adrenaline ebbs, there is the ugly grainy taste - like holding rusty iron nails in my mouth. I am not sure if it was because of the manner we were fighting, or what we were fighting about. The judge gave me what I argued for, but so what?

All I am saying is, the heart of the matter is really what matters. Maybe we shouldnt be so quick to judge another, when we dont know whats on their heart.

Nothing like a lap to return to at the end of a long day.

I have, of course, come across more substantive matters during my hiatus other than this icky picture. ( I believe in the REAL thing, so the above.. cannot make it)

Hahaa.. just wanted to get your attention. =P

Astronaut caught in love triangle faces murder charge



ORLANDO, Fla. -- Orlando police say they've decided to file an attempted murder charge against an astronaut who is accused of trying to kidnap a woman she saw as a rival for a fellow astronaut's affections.
Lisa Nowak was ordered released on bail this morning after a court appearance on charges including attempted kidnapping and battery. But now she'll stay behind bars.

In an Orlando court this morning, Nowak faced charges she attacked and tried to kidnap NASA Engineer Colleen Shipman, her rival in an apparent relationship with astronaut Bill Oefelein.


Police say Nowak drove 900 miles from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers so she wouldn't have to stop for bathroom breaks.

Police say she put on a wig and trench coat and waited for Shipman to get off a late night flight, then followed her to parking garage and then attacked her.

During a check of the parking lot, an officer followed Nowak and watched her throw away a bag containing the wig and BB gun. They also found a steel mallet, a 4-inch folding knife, rubber tubing, $600 and garbage bags inside a bag Nowak was carrying when she was arrested, authorities said.

Inside Nowak's vehicle, which was parked at a nearby motel, authorities uncovered a pepper spray package, an unused BB-gun cartridge, latex gloves and e-mails between Shipman and Oefelein. They also found a letter "that indicated how much Mrs. Nowak loved Mr. Oefelein," an opened package for a buck knife, Shipman's home address and hand written directions to the address, the arrest affidavit said.

Police said Nowak told them that she only wanted to scare Shipman into talking to her about her relationship with Oefelein and didn't want to harm her physically.

"If you were just going to talk to someone, I don't know that you would need a wig, a trench coat, an air cartridge BB gun and pepper spray," said Sgt. Barbara Jones, a spokeswoman for the Orlando Police Department. "It's just really a very sad case. ... Now she ends up finding herself on the other side of the law with some very serious charges."


Nowak believed Shipman was romantically involved with Oefelein, a pilot during space shuttle Discovery's trip to the space station last December, police said.

Nowak told police that her relationship with Oefelein was "more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship," according to an arrest affidavit. Police officers recovered a love letter to Oefelein in her car.

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According to NASA's official biography, Nowak is married with three children. During her 13-day mission in July she operated the robotic arm during three spacewalks.

Oefelein is unmarried. He piloted the space shuttle Discovery in December. He has two children, according to a NASA biography.

Nowak and Oefelein were both first-time fliers during their shuttle missions last year. They trained together but never flew together.

Brooke Whitney of WKYC.com
Created: 2/6/2007 12:54:34 PM
Updated:2/6/2007 2:36:57 PM

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I don't know how you feel reading this, but I was just flushed with a disturbance I couldn't quite articulate.

There wasnt any indication from the articles tht she was intoxicated, so I gather she was not acting under the influence of anything, except perhaps her own free will.


And, perhaps, I havent FELT so compelled to do something before. Havent wanted something or in this case, someone, so bad before?

Some wise friend of mine said, we have to decide, right now, when life is just rolling out, what we would or would not do.i.e. lay down your life principles.

Now.

Till wait till that moment is just waayy too late.

Decide how much you want to spend. (gulp)
Decide how far you would go with your significant other before marriage.
Decide what is do-able to get that job.
Decide what you would not do, when faced with pressing demands from a client.


And so on and so forth.

I will be honest, I cant think straight when my head or heart is hot. It doesnt matter that my head cools down quick, and that ultimately I know my heart will choose the right thing.

We see above, crazy things happen quick. I say again, life would be so much better, and safer and happier, if people would just THINK before they do or say something.

But o well.

To all who have been wondering where I am.

Been here - just sorting out what I want to do this year, so havent particularly been in the mood to rant or be philosophical.

You would be glad to know I have s.o.r.t.e.d it out! Muahahaa.. So will write more often.

Some week or so back, I met up with

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DOCTOR NEO!!!




Weethong came back to this part of the world and i was SOOO glad to have had the chance to meet him. Yes sir, thanks for making the time!

So because he is deprived of local food in Aussie, we HAD to eat all the fat fat (but o sooooo yummy) Malay food.

Check out my Kumbing Soup.



Got steam come out all.. can see?

And he ate alot.



But he can afford it la.. people is last time track team wan okays, not Nuah Queen like me.. =)

the rawyer and the doctor.




I miss our old jc days so much! I remember how last time, weethong, zhizhi (zhiyang) and I would stay over in the school canteen on saturday nights, purportedly to mug la.. but i think the doctor was the only one who got the real mugging down..

Saturday night RJ canteen gang!




Zhi Zhi is now a commodities broker, earning the moolah for the things he always did.. (not that we agree with what he is doing of course.. quit smoking already man!! lol)

And because I have been in SUCH a nostalgic mood of late, i went to find our old photos..

We have the broker here, at 18, (note the hand written captions complimenting him, are his.. i didnt write those *rolls eyes*)



My conclusion? Ego develops from youth!

My classmate, me, and the doctor at 18!



Do we feel older already or what?

I lurve my friends. I cant believe we've spent so much time together, thank God for the relationships that survive distances and weathers!

But you wanna see what really melts hearts.

My nana..




We had a reunion dinner at church. (which was really farnee.. cuz the Hallal restaurant served like EVERY DISH prawns. the super big kind.. trust me, can get sick of eating prawns wan!)

So anyhows, she obviously didnt like prawns, because she was sleeping most of the dinner..

Here's her at another angle..



i asked her, pointing at the picture of her in my phone:

Me: Who's that baby in the picture? (pretend act blur)
Anna: Me! Me! Me!

SO CUTE SO CUTE SO CUTE!!!!

lol.


postscript: I realized that everything is flushed to the right today, pardon me. I know how to rectify the problem, but it's gonna just be too painful. So bear with it okays?

Otherwise you can stop reading.. muahahahah. =)

Judging a Book by its Cover

So this is a book I actually bought because of its cover.

I don't do that often, bookworm that I am.. heh.

Book is about the autistic 15 year old Christopher John Francis Boone, and how he sets out to investigate the murder of his neighbour's dog - simply because it was important to him to do so, and because it was interesting. Christopher is an amazingly intelligent young man with a superbly logical mind (confirmz plus 100% he is smarter than me!) So his endeavours at investigating the murder is complicated by his condition because he has problems adapting to the "real world". Christopher cannot decipher what people really mean socially because he takes them at face value.

I got this definition of autism from the BBC website, "Autism is a lifelong neuro-developmental disability that affects the way a person communicates, and severely limits their ability to relate to others in a meaningful way, develop friendships or understand other people's feelings.... People with autism have a triad of impairments in social interaction, social communication (verbal and non-verbal - they don't understand the meaning of gestures, facial expressions or tone of voice) - and imagination."

So anyhows, in the course of his investigations, he stumbles into another mystery, unexpected twist - which cuts at the very heart of human nature.

*dramatic sigh*

This book is ficitional, and some have criticized his portrayal of the medical condition as trite ... well, whatever, it nevertheless stirs up acute sentiments in me.

This book got me thinking, two issues mainly:

(i) this world is really too complicated. christopher has a problem because he takes people for what they say, or appear to be saying, really - just how much pain has been caused by tongues that run amok, or are careless? just how many times do we encounter situations where things are just made more difficult because people just wont let their yes BE a yes, and their no BE a no? I am not talking about women being coy here, like how when they say yes, they really mean no. *rolls eyes* i am referring to normal human interaction which is complicated by politics and vying and what have yous.

I think the world will be a better place if people would be more sincere and humble to one another in their interaction - to your bosses, colleagues and secretaries; parents and relatives; teachers and schoolmates..

too many have said that the sincere and nice guy would 'lose out'. i disagree. and i intend to continue to be sincere and nice to people, all the days of my life.

note - being sincere and nice doesnt mean that i agree with being a doormat, you can still be firm.. but that's another story.

(ii) i should be thankful for who i am.

Christopher's condition reminds me that there are people out there who really have it bad. Of late, I have had the opportunity to meet with people who have lost their sight or hearing, or are facing various medical conditions. You know, in the past, I used to wonder why God didnt make me smarter, or less 'assertive', or richer, or whatever - but that's really ungrateful..

Think most of us should be, I definitely should be, thankful that I have all my 5 senses, have the ability to express myself and communicate with other people, and am in a generally loving environment.. Was flipping through Newsweek the other day and saw a picture of african kids taking an exam in a really dowdy room, and we have kids all over the world with no childhood..



or we dont even need to look far - just in Singapore, so many teenagers out there who are suicidal because they have nothing to look forward to, or the many ex-cons wanting to reintegrate into society. the list is endless..

the world would be a much happier and better place if people would quit complaining about how their lives are, and start looking outwards.

think about it. did you make the world a better place for anyone in the last week?
when was the last time you showed a little kindness?

it's free you know.


so the song by Glen Campbell goes, "Try a Little Kindness"

If you see your brother standing by the road
With a heavy load from the seeds he's sowed
And if you see your sister falling by the way
Just stop and stay you're going the wrong way

You got to try a little kindness
Yes show a little kindness
Just shine your light for everyone to see
And if you try a little kindness
Then you'll overlook the blindness
Of narrow-minded people on the narrow-minded streets

Don't walk around the down and out
Lend a helping hand instead of doubt
And the kindness that you show every day
Will help someone along their way

You got to try a little kindness
Yes show a little kindness
Just shine your light for everyone to see
And if you try a little kindness
Then you'll overlook the blindness
Of narrow-minded people on the narrow-minded streets

You got to try a little kindness
Yes show a little kindness
Just shine your light for everyone to see
And if you try a little kindness
Then you'll overlook the blindness
Of narrow-minded people on the narrow-minded streets

Honouring my Papa

Yesterday was my Papa's birthday! So i took him and my marmee out for dinner at some restaurant near our place..



i wish MY BROTHER!!! was home..

it was nothing much really.. just some simple fare.. but it was good to have some time to spend with the family, especially when i am soo soo soo busy..



more and more and more, I know that I have to be deliberate about spending time with people.. especially with people that i really care alot about, but sometimes may take for granted precisely because we are close..

You know, it's precisely because it was all so simple, yet so appreciated, that makes me especially wanna honour my Papa on his birthday..

Today, on the train ride to work, I was counting the ways I should really thank God for my Papa, and I list them now..

1. I want to honour my Papa because he loves my Marmee very much.



And in loving her, taught me and MY BROTHER!! the role a husband plays as protector and provider.. and also demonstrated what a loving relationship between a man and a woman should be..



i think it's so amazing and beautiful that they can still be so loving after 26, or is it 27 years of marriage??



2. I wanna honour my Papa because he is a father that disciplines his children..



i mean you dont see me and MY BROTHER!! like that, when we were younger, we really got it from him when we were out of line - like when we werent conscientious in our work, or when we were rude to our elders, etc.. it was tough love. I firmly believe that if my Papa and marmee didnt do what they did, MY BROTHER!! and i wont turn out the way we are now..

3. I want to honour my Papa because he believes in the value of a good education.

Despite being only primary school educated, he showed, through his actions and decisions that he believed in the value of a good education. My parents tried their best to ensure that MY BROTHER!! and i got to the best primary schools while we were young.. even though times were tough when we were growing up, my Papa agreed that my Marmee should stay at home to care for and teach MY BROTHER!! and i, all the way till we were like 12. and he used to wake up to send me downstairs to take the school bus when i was in primary one and two.. and when we got a car, ALWAYS woke up early to ferry MY BROTHER!! and i to school every morning ..




4. I want to honour my Papa because he lived simply himself, and always gave us (my mom, MY BROTHER!!! and i) the best he knew how..

and it pains my heart that simple fare touches him so.. i remember at points in time when we were growing up, he took two jobs a day at some times to make ends meet.



5. I want to honor my Papa because he taught MY BROTHER!!! and i the value of a hard and honest day's work, and not to let others look down on you because you do not have as much as them.

Okay I am actually tearing now.. I think for whatever his shortcomings (who don't have), I've got a GREAT DAD.. somebody translate this to mandarin for me, or pray that I have time to sit down and write it in mandarin myself! or maybe i should give it to him for his birthday next year.. hahahaha..


but it's not all so "heavy" here.. check out the pictures I took of my Marmee and me..



you guys cant blame me for lurving to pose.. i take after my mom.. heh



she made me take this one.. hahaa.



Yayyyy!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA!!!

An Interview with David Marshall

Yesterday was one of the more intense days I have had at work in a long while. At the end of it, I picked up the latest issue of the Law Gazette which was strewn across the mess that was my office, meaning to make space for more textbooks and cases.

My rare attempt at orgnization was rewarded. My attention was drawn to one of the features on the cover of the said Law Gazette.

I haven't read anything that struck such a chord in my heart in a long time. The last place I expected to come across such materials was in an office. And so it was. An Interview with David Marshall in 1994 by one Dharmendra Yadav.

Setting out the parts that spoke the most to me: David Saul Marshall, First Chief Minister of Singapore, one of her finest legal minds on..

modern society:

"in my time, I tried to educate our people in an understanding of the dignity of human life and their right as fellow human beings, and youth was not only interested but excited about what I consider things that matter. Things of the spirit, the development of a human being to his true potential in accordance with his own personal genius in the context of equal rights of others... we've lost sight of the joy and excitment of public service, helping our fellow men.. we seek a rice bowl full! It is full and overflowing, in fact. They sere you your rice in a jade bowl with golden chopsticks; not that it makes much difference to the taste of the rice. But you're empty! ... We have lost taste for heroic action in the service of our people. We have become good bourgeois seeking comfort, security. It's like seeking a crystal coffin and being fed by intravenous injections through pipes in the crystal coffin; crystal coffins stuck with certificates of your pragmatic abilities "


education:

"my children have had the best of education. in fact, I am very proud of them ... (Asians) have a great passion for education. My secretary - I asked her once what her background is. She said her mother is a washerwoman and, here is this lovely secretary doing a damn good job. She was educated. How could her mother have saved enough to give her the education?"


a career in law:

"try and understand that the law is a vocation and not a business. respect your clients irrespective of fees... I'd like them to understand that justice is a meld of law and humanity. Law and humanity; decency in concepts; if we administer law by the soulless logic of the computer, we aren't on our road to progress... if you want to make money as a lawyer, you can... they work till nine o'clock at night. I dont know how their children survive. They work very hard, they make a lot of money. Yes it's true..

Regret? I am full of gratitude for having become a lawyer and, especially, a criminal lawyer; for having helped thousands of people terrified, helpless before the silly forces of society... to help who is helpless in seeking help."


youth:

"all youths no mater what race, no matter what country, goodwill flows frm their hearts. They want to help the world but by the time you reach 30, your goodwill like good wine turns to vinegar - the vinegar of crabbed egoism"


a message in general:

"recognize that there is a lot of satisfaction in public service, foreign service, judicial service ... if you are totally engrossed in self-promotion, at the end of the day, you'll find it's dead seafood... it's an exciting country, singapore. It's a lovely country. And you have to make your own space for your own spiritual and intellectual needs and have the courage. Have the courage to serve your fellow men with integrity. I'll put it in one nutshell: Have the courage to live, dont be afraid!"


==========================================================================================

What moved me, was that words of such idealism would grace upon the lips of one so successful in his career. Too often, the dreams we cherish in our hearts disappear after we are acquainted with the real world.. and too often we forget what really makes the world go round.. you know. the invisible stuff.


And David Saul Marshall, he was no young man when these words were uttered. 86 years old. These are words tested, refined and strengthened through pure tenacity. His life bore testimony to that.

I want to be like that too.

When Death Calls

My friend's dad passed away over the weekend. Unexpectedly. Heart attack. She flew back home to Malaysia straightaway. I don't have the details yet. But she was feeling all sorts of tentative. Parents separated, and had not had the opportunity to reconcile. The mother was still carrying alot of pain in her heart. Now no chance already.

=====

I saw somebody go before me once. I am not a doctor and am not used to these things. It was quite an experience.

I was visiting a friend's grandma. Frail old lady and I just wanted to spend some time with her. I remember I was sitting next to the granny. My friend was not there. I didnt speak her dialect but I spoke to her in Cantonese and English. I am not sure if she caught what I was saying, but I am sure she caught the heart from my tone of voice. So, she was looking at me. And then she would close her eyes. Then she would open them, and look at me again.




I don't know why but I told her she could go if she wanted to. And she didnt have to hang on for anybody. She could go. She knew where she would be going.

She looked at me. Closed her eyes. And then she looked at me again.

I didnt know what to say so I just reached over and placed my hand on top of hers. It was rather scary because she was so thin and frail, the skin was literally just covered her veins. I was quite sure if my nail scratched her she would bleed. She closed her eyes and her breathing became less laboured. She took a deep breath. And didnt breathe out.

I panicked. Was I supposed to call the nurse or something? Please ah ma, don't die on me!

Then she breathed out. And I also breathed a sigh of relief.

Then the cycle repeated. But it seemed to me that each interval where she would breathe out was getting longer. I really didnt know what to do. I was contemplating calling the nurse when suddenly.

Nurse: Aiyoh. This auntie is dying. Come, stand one side girl. Let me do work.

She pushed me aside and pulled the curtain around the granny. And before I knew it. My friend's granny passed away.

====

So. If today I die.

1. Would I have any regrets? Was there something I should have done / not done?
2. Do I know where I am going?

Heavy thoughts for a Sunday night. You? What about you?