When Death Calls

My friend's dad passed away over the weekend. Unexpectedly. Heart attack. She flew back home to Malaysia straightaway. I don't have the details yet. But she was feeling all sorts of tentative. Parents separated, and had not had the opportunity to reconcile. The mother was still carrying alot of pain in her heart. Now no chance already.

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I saw somebody go before me once. I am not a doctor and am not used to these things. It was quite an experience.

I was visiting a friend's grandma. Frail old lady and I just wanted to spend some time with her. I remember I was sitting next to the granny. My friend was not there. I didnt speak her dialect but I spoke to her in Cantonese and English. I am not sure if she caught what I was saying, but I am sure she caught the heart from my tone of voice. So, she was looking at me. And then she would close her eyes. Then she would open them, and look at me again.




I don't know why but I told her she could go if she wanted to. And she didnt have to hang on for anybody. She could go. She knew where she would be going.

She looked at me. Closed her eyes. And then she looked at me again.

I didnt know what to say so I just reached over and placed my hand on top of hers. It was rather scary because she was so thin and frail, the skin was literally just covered her veins. I was quite sure if my nail scratched her she would bleed. She closed her eyes and her breathing became less laboured. She took a deep breath. And didnt breathe out.

I panicked. Was I supposed to call the nurse or something? Please ah ma, don't die on me!

Then she breathed out. And I also breathed a sigh of relief.

Then the cycle repeated. But it seemed to me that each interval where she would breathe out was getting longer. I really didnt know what to do. I was contemplating calling the nurse when suddenly.

Nurse: Aiyoh. This auntie is dying. Come, stand one side girl. Let me do work.

She pushed me aside and pulled the curtain around the granny. And before I knew it. My friend's granny passed away.

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So. If today I die.

1. Would I have any regrets? Was there something I should have done / not done?
2. Do I know where I am going?

Heavy thoughts for a Sunday night. You? What about you?

And the rest of HongKong

Let's get the food out of the way first.

So we had dessert, now I remember where, at the New Territories! Anyhow, dessert in Hongkong is really a league in itself man. If you are a fan of local dessert (the mango sagoes and such), I assure you, you'll go ballistic in HongKong. I wasnt a fan and I went mad.

Check this out.



They have all kinds of stuff and flavours in this place, but I settled for mango sago and the bowl you see behind is this almond thingy, much like the local purple dessert thingy that we have at home.. but this one the fragrance INVADES your nostrils..



The MANGO SAGO is really !!!! It wasnt too sweet, but the best thing was.. they practically placed the WHOLE fruit in the dessert. I mean in Singapore we get cubes of mango from a can (the number of which we can count most times, using the fingers on both hands). This one, wah.. they sliced fresh SWEET mango and put it in. See!



And the best thing was the mango sago was served in this old school blue poreclain bowl.

I like it so much I went to another place in HongKong Island Causeway Bay to try the dessert there. It wasnt as good as the previous one, but still decent.



And of course, go to HongKong must try the roast pigeon. I was a little tentative because of the whole bird flu thingy, but I am more greedy than I am kia see.



I really like HongKong. Pity I didn't get to see much of it. I did go to Disneyland though. It was rather disappointing though. There was only ONE adult ride and it wasnt even remotely thrilling. Was also very very packed, and there were like THRONGS of people queuing up everywhere. It's like they were queuing for the sake of it.

These people were just standing behind one another, alot of them forming one line, i.e. a queue. But there was nothing at the head of the queue! So I asked my colleague, who was the bohliao/observant one who noted this phenomena, to pose infront of the queue. He pretended to be giving something out. Hahaha.



Point made!

Other silly pictures, since we ARE in Disneyland. My colleague bought this for his sister.



She is 8 la.



Okay. So I am not one of those girls who can act cute and act cool at the same time. But I realize that I tend to look a certain way without trying. These, are supposed to be bambi's ears. I think I make them look like fox's / vixen's ears.



Think you get my drift. Heh.

Anyhows, I really like HongKong. Must go back one day!

Hong Kong Day One

okay.

because i am an exhibitionist, and because some have asked.. here are some of my hongkong pictures.. the better ones.. you know i actually took 120 plus pictures in 3 days? most of which were pictures of myself?

And, yes. This is the same Hongkong trip where I didnt get to shop much.



so i act cute.. kill me lorh..



Temple Street, where all the ku waak zais (read: Cantonese for gangsters. they is attas one, like mafia, not arh bengz).

My colleague and I went to this place that was super old school.. they had like glass bottles of cokes in crates and small squared tiled floors.. but best thing was, food was GOOD. We ordered this "Yat Wo Fan" (read: Canto for a whole wok of rice) which is basically cooked rice with eggs, and yummy sweet and sour pork on top with lotsa gravy, and piping hot!!



And we also had their tea-house speciality, "po lor bao", which is really just butter buns, which the Hongkies lurve.. not bad larh, you can feel the butter ooze out when u bite in.. tasty tho.. and their french toast, which is french toast.. but somehow tastes nicer..



Then my uncle brought me to this place which was really famous for roast goose. Wah you have to queue to get in, and it was like HUGE.. like maybe the size of hmv on 3 floors, and is all ONE place selling roast goose. This is the spread we had..



Look at my cousins go! Glenn on the right has a bottom less pit, he ate like 3 bowls of rice can, and still had room for dessert!



This is super fattening. My mom cooks it at home, but it's much tastier here, I think because the people just whack the ingredients with no inhibitions about health. So you jus stew cucumber until it becomes all mushy and put lots of chilli and other oily stuff, but it tastes goood..




This one i think some will think twice. Fried duck tongue with chili padi!

Family picture. My uncle moved to HK 12 years ago.. True singapore style, eat first, photo later.



Then we adjourned for dessert! I took a picture so I'll know where it is, but I still cant recall.. except that it's somewhere at the border, near China.. not on main Island. . HK dessert is really good man. No joke.. but I'll leave that for another time!

Klutz!

Boo hoo!! See what I did this morning!



My moisturizer!!

That's like 80 dollars we see on the floor, all that white stuff.. More haste less speed! I sit under the aircon at work (and we all know I am at work like 70% of my waking time) so moisturizers are essentials (my nose ever peeled because of the aircon.. and u thought that skin peeling only if under sun right)..

aiyuarh...

Benefits of Shopping on Life

One fine day, I took a look at my account and recognized that I was not going to be able to do any more shopping because there wasn’t much moolah left.

I wasn’t happy because I like to shop. A lot.

The same fine day I recognized that I needed help because it wasn’t as if the deficit was a result of prior excessive indulgence. My last shopping experience wasn’t very enjoyable. I had an all expenses paid trip to HongKong but couldn’t maximize on the opportunity and go crazy because I already had to watch my pocket. I only bought,
(a) 1 hand bag;
(b) 4 pairs of earrings (cute like crazy Singapore don’t have);
(c) 1 jacket;
(d) 2 dresses (one of which is SUPER retro.. I lurve it!);



Nice right..

(e) 2 pairs of shoes;
(f) 1 dumb cap I bought in Disneyland but I won't be caught dead in it outside Disneyland;



See what I mean.

(g) 2 lip glosses (got different function okay, one is gloss the other one is just moisturizing); and
(h) 1 box of mooncakes in a happening metal box.

And I was already exercising a lot of restraint. I'll exercise some here and post my HK pictures another time.

So anyhows, I decided I needed to find out where all the moolah has been going and agreed to meet a financial planner that came highly recommended as one who spoke the truth as it needed to be heard.

My Financial Planner

My planner was a high SI (ask me about DISC another time. I missed my accreditation like 5 times, which means I am good enough to have been accredited 5 times ago.. hahaha) and rather cute in a shy way. Anyhows, I was very amused that he was evidently very amused by me. Totally encouraged the I in me to hit the sky.

It started innocently enough, with him asking me about what I want, which at that point was simply dinner. When I realized he wasn’t joking, I let my “I” take over and it rattled on the dreams/hopes I entertain/cherish.

Me:

i. I want to take a theology degree in my Sabbath year of work, which is in 5 years time. I want to take time off to concentrate properly, either work part time or don’t work. I cannot imagine drafting submissions and affidavits and being able to truly appreciate [insert Christian theology] at the same time. Law doesn’t teach a person to multitask that well.

ii. I want to learn how to drive and get a car in the next two years. Ay. Stop sniggering. I sure can pass my driving at first instance.

iii. I want to get my Masters in law in either UK or US. (insert dreamy sigh)

iv. I want to have 3 or 4 kids. Very farnee, at this point my planner looked very stunned.

Planner: Huh? So many ah?
Me: A lot meh?
(Planner appears like he is looking for a quick recovery.)
Planner: Quite ah, for our generation.
Me: O. But I still want 3 or 4.

v. I want to give my kids an overseas education.

vi. I want to get married on a ship. Many many yacht that kind. Not Star Aquarius.

Planner: That’s a lot of things you want.

He asked what my financial liabilities were. I was glad he agreed they were significant. He asked what my financial assets were. I promise you he tried very hard to suppress the look of disbelief that was spreading across his face.

I was rather comforted and half-amused by his conscientious taking down of whatever I said.

Planner: Okay. So how are you going to get what you want?
Me: (looks at him. I thought it was his job to tell me how I can get what I want.)
Planner: You want a lot of things. You want to get married at the sea complete with yachts and pretty white decor, study overseas, get a theology degree… and your 4 kids? What are you doing for them, to give them the education you were talking about? How are you going to get what you want?
Me: Find a rich husband?
Me: By the way I like how you speak in faith, like what I am going to do for my 4 kids, like I have them already.

I tell you, I could tell he was both very amused and very frustrated. Then I decided to get serious and let him engage me with his services.

Planner: Your goals are not going to happen if you continue like this. I am serious.
Me: Can I get a car and drive in 2 years?
Planner: No way.

I think he meant it. And I think that woke me up.

Dreams of vehicles aside (Any guesses for what vehicle I want to drive??), his somewhat clichéd questions hit home. Maybe because I never really attempted to answer them before.

I am a little appalled by the fact that I am not very very very sure about what is absolutely-must-have-otherwise-I-will-die-kind important to me. At least, not off the top of my head. It’s somewhere inside, has to be drawn out, refined, strengthened.

I want to know what my convictions are. The things that I have to achieve in this lifetime, failing which I would count this life as lost. I want to know what I would die for. Quite literally. And, I am afraid, I don’t really have the answers to these questions. Not as crystal clear as I would like them to be.

I mean it’s good that I don’t have many things I want to die for now, else very jialat right, every little thing I want to die.. so drama.. but .. what do I want? And if I do not know what I want, how can I go about achieving them?

And, if I don’t intentionally sit down and chart it, I would also be guilty of living life accidentally. An idler doesn’t hold a steady job, simply living tomorrow after today. An aimless high achiever finishes the work set before him today, so as to be ready for tomorrow. Tomorrow the cycle repeats. Arguably there is no difference between the two, both are simply letting life roll out.

I don’t want to be like that.

I definitely want to be in the position to say that where I am now, what I am doing now, is intended, all of which are reflections of decisions I made long ago and treasured in my heart. Good decisions, wise decisions and decisions that people would die for.

So, what are your convictions?

KEITHFU MY HERO!!

this young man is the hero to the damsel in distress!!



so cute right? Here's one of my favourite shots of him..



HE fixed the tagboard AND the counter.. come on!! Tell me why i lurve my keithdidi!!!



and it's not because he is handsome!

I promise I will not laugh at bloggers again.

I promise I will never laugh at bloggers again.

Since I've decided to join the ranks of public blogging, I've lost alot of sleep just trying to make this blog look like the one I see in my head.
Tried.
Several times.

And it kicks the wind out of me why ctrl-a, ctrl-c, ctrl-v, is NOT working. I also don't understand why the stats counter and the chatterbox is NOT working.. So much for convenience.

Until I find the time to learn html..

So I have a new found respect for all them bloggers who can make their blogs look like what they want.

I shall NOT laugh at bloggers again.

But there is always that one thing that never fails to make a girl feel better.. SHOPPING! Meet my new love. (Yes, it's okay to have new loves so long u don't ever forget ur First Love My new bag!



Nice and bright and funky.



Together with the attas one that My Brother!! bought me..



Good taste horh My Brother!!



That makes, TWO pretty bags.. I am a rather happy girl this Sunday night!